Wednesday, December 30, 2009

another year, a new one. 2010


a decade ago,
i was a child.

i remember that there was all sort of functions, exhibitions, fairs, competitions and much more
to celebrate the year of millenium.

we imagine that by this millenia, we should already have flying cars, jets with 3 times sonic speed,
laser guns, lightsabers, teleporting machine, phones of shape we never even imagine, and much else.

and theres more that we imagine, like sky high highways, people traveling in vacuum tubes as in
the hospital, flying skateborad ridden by any particular body by the streets, skyscrapers
which is almost covered by clouds at all places.

getting deeper and to imagine more, we might even be able to live on the moon.

but thats the story, better yet imagination of 10 years before. where our art teacher told us,

"OK kids, today i want all of you to imagine what would the millenium year looked like. and draw
them onto your paper"

FIY, i had to bought the A3 paper for 5 cent before i could draw. its worth it,
cuz what i imagine is that my father is driving a flying car with all my family inside that
fabulous looking car. and yes, of course, he drove it on the sky high highway.


and how about now?

10 years after imagining all these great pictures, we still havent made half of what we wished
to achieve. and yet, for some other things, we may had gotten more.

we may not have flying cars, but we got cars of high estethic values that everyone dreamed of.

we may not have sky high highways, but we sure got the SMART tunnel connecting some of the roads
i dont remember in KL to KLCC and Jalan Tun Abdul Razak(citation needed).

we may have not yet develop a paper thin handphone because it might have been lost too easily
but we do have iPhone, which for some reasons and sources declares it as the God of Phone.

and for more, we dont just live in a really tall steel and concrete building with glass bowl
as our roof but we still and always like it, to live in a simple terrace, semi-D, traditional
houses, and some lucky ones got to live in a bungalow. which is, i think, would be totally
more comfortable then a home made up of concrete heaten up by an digitaly pixeled fire
to replace the fireplace.


i dont know how my writing has gone right now,
but i still realize that i havent got out of my point.

cuz my point is, we still had to keep imagining ourself of a better future and work
our sweat to achieve it.

even as a teenager, i still imagine as i was when i was a kid.
and currently as a medical student,

i imagine the world would soon develop the medical technology and medical care so advance,
that treating a patient would be easy. and of course, i want to be there to see it.

be it 40 years or more from now on. i hope i'm there to see it.

happy new year 2010.

question: how would you imagine the future would be?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

spoken, the lamest 2 phrase


i keep on writing poetry, neither the readers like it or not, neither if I like it or not, my heart just tell me to write on, though probably the poetry wouldn't even be read, read by the person, the beloved that I'm writing too. but as it all just some words lining up to make a phrase, why bother what it meant and what it meant for? how can we say that these 26 letters,space, coma, and full stop could make an art or merely embed the feel of love?

Wait till the maghribi summer

all the thing that keep us apart
and keep us going on wider,
makes the sense in which i miss,
the heart and soul that i fell for.

on every detail of clouds,
i try to picture your image,
and the wind would blow through,
as if they know that i miss you.

let me run a footstep closer,
even though you know i cant to.

this shivering winter has hold me,
to wait till the maghribi summer.

i cant recognize the dream that i had,
where its me, a mosque and u there.
with a bed that is lovely to see,
in your hand you bear our 1st child.

why does this sounds so awkward to us,
because we're probably too young to.

but in else in any matter of fact,
i know that i would only love you.

dear my love i tried to told you,
that i had deeply fell in love with you.

from Melbourne to Sydney,
south pole breeze, sand storm,
green grass or white little snow,
you shall see this one day.

from Woodland to Cangi,
the concrete roads,
and the high metal building,
made me think of our future together.

from Alexandria to Cairo,
made me plead to God,
to make this bond eternal for us.

Kajang to Kuala Lumpur,
reminds me of home,
where both of us has come from the same place.

Makkah to Madinah,
this journey yet not started,
but we had already started running.

all the little souvenirs that i brought,
have a little meaning to say that,
wherever i go wherever i am,
i'm always thinking of you.

it might be the lamest 2 phrase,
but its all that i got in this short phase.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

kisah mimpi


mimpi bukan sebarang mimpi,
mimpi dibelai kasih dan rasa haru,
mimpi merasa sejuk,
hati berderbar,
jiwa dipulih bak whudu',
bunyi kembali lagu sediakala,
tidak gemuruh malah tenang,
menyingkap soal mata dan hati,
di mana penglihatan melihat kecantikan,
tiada jua yang pertama,
hanyalah yang kedua
jua mengaburi mata menjatuh hati.

istikharah telah memanggil mimpi,
mimpi diharap memberi petunjuk,
maka terlihatlah,
dan nyatalah,
suasana dan imej yang menyeluruh,
menunjukkan segala isi yang dipinta.

tiadalah lagi jua hati ini bingung,
diantara cabang yang lain untuk dipilih.

semalam, aku telah menyilam satu dunia yang baru dan asing bagi diriku. jejaknya langkah kakiku ini ke sebuah Masjid yang besar tersegam indah, lantai marmar berkilau seribu, tiang masjid lebar berdepa tiga lagi putih, kubahnya bulat, besar dan biru.

terdapatnya tangga di mana aku turun, turun menuruti langkah berjaga-jaga yang segan akan kebesaran-Nya. mencecah langkah terakhir, terlihat wajah seorang rupawan yang tidak ku kenali, baju kurungnya indah seindah-indah persalinan, rambutnya hitam dan lurus serta panjang melepasi dada. mukanya yang putih seputih suria membuat ku tergamam akan kecantikannya.

"masuk di sini", kata rupawan itu.

di bawah masjid itu terdapatnya satu bilik, ruangan sederhana dan sama seperti latar yang lain, berwarna putih. terdapatnya sebuah katil yang sandarnya seorang lagi rupawan yang langsung* ku tidak boleh gambarkan. maka hanya dia kah? tidak. sandarnya itu sambil mengendong seorang bayi dan jelita itu jua mendodoikan bersama lagu irama yang menusuk jiwa indah suaranya. hanya cahaya** yang ku nampak.

aku keluar sebentar, hendak mengambil whudu'. maka berjalanlah beberapa langkah aku ke sebuah kamar berperigi. maka berwhudu'lah. dan sedarlah ke realiti, mendengar azan subuh memanggil jasad yang lemah ini berjemaah subuh.

*langsung: menimbulkan suara fitnah jika digambarkan
**cahaya: tidaklah jelas imej yang dilihat, namun tergambar di hati si jelita itu.

persoalan: aku akan "membina masjid" kah?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Diagnosis: AV nodal re-entry tachycardia


5 minutes with Prof Dr Amal Hussein-
Professor of Physiology, Alexandria Faculty of Medicine

Tept: Professor, i got smthing to ask you about this phenomenon.

Prof: Come again??

Tept: i got some questions concerning the reentry mechanism.

Prof: Ok.. whuts ur question?

Tept: how can we stop it?

Prof: owhh.. how can we stop it?

Tept: yes.. how can we stop it if it occurs?

Prof: do you have it?

Tept: errrr.. ahhh...

Prof: u got this?

Tept: ermm.. haah..

Prof: why? are u under stress?

Tept: not quite..

Prof: do u have any relationship with the gurls?

Tept: well, no. owh, maybe a little. but i'll say no.

Prof: hahaha.. r u being too sensitive in your relationship and all the things happening to you?

Tept: i dunt think so.. no no..

Prof: how many hours did u sleep?

Tept: 6.. smtimes 8.. maybe more..

Prof: owhh.. thats good. never sleep late, ok?

Tept: owhh.. ok.

Prof: did u have stress with ur study and drink coffee?

Tept: errmm.. no. i stopped caffeine long ago. about 3-4 months ago.

Prof: u smoke?

Tept: no

Prof: good. how many times per day u got this attack?

Tept: 9 times per day..

Prof: D8. 9 times..??!!

Tept: yeah but that is about 3-4 months ago.

Prof: so how about now?

Tept: well, i stop on caffeine and all, i exercise more, so its just 1 attack evry 2-3 days.

Prof: ahhh...

Tept: i had seen my cardiologist before and he suggest that i took medicine but i refused.

Prof: dunt take any medication. especially in ur age. what else did he say?

Tept: he said stop on caffeine and all that.

Prof: u know, there is a way to stop it. u shud try to put ur finger in the throat. try to make urself vomit. then it stimulates the vagal stimulation.

Tept: u mean, in the throat like this?

Prof: yes.. yes.!! deeper into the throat. as if u would vomit.

Tept: ahh... i c.. my cardiologist told me to imitate the action of defecating.he said that d imitating action also stimulate the vagal nerve.

Prof: ahh.. well, try not to get too sensitive in your relationships.. and try not to be under stress all the time.. have plenty of rest, and dont eat too much in one course. do you always eat a lot?

Tept: yes.. of course.

Prof: dont eat too much. I sometimes have the attack too when i am on my full stomach. sometimes i feel too hungry that i eat a lot in one course. and then my full stomach iritates the heart through the diaphragm and causes this reentry.

Tept: ahh..

Prof: and my uncle, he's a cardiologist, have this kind of attack too.. and each time he got this attack, he put his finger in the throat to try to vomit. and he told me this.

Tept: ahh.. i c..

Prof: i'll be asking more to the cardiologist about this to know more. and by that time, take care of urself..

Tept: thank u prof. thank you..

Prof: Thank you..

Saturday, December 5, 2009

suara hati yang meneriak tanpa sengaja


Alexandria - Cairo - Suez Canal - Sinai - Taba'

Breakfast on a Gulf. with dogs and deserted view.

I can see Palestine's border from here. We are so close to Palestine. too close. InsyaAllah, one day, Palestine will be ours..!!

Next to Sallehuddin Al-Ayyubi's Fort.
Permandangan palestin lebih jelas. ku teriak tanpa sengaja.

"Palestin..!! I'll get u back..!!"

berada di kubu Sallehudin menampakkan kecerdikan Sallehudin dalam menawan palestin.
tak tahu mengapa, dalam hati yang kecil ini tiba-tiba merasa panas membara.
Bara yang ingin mengembalikan Tanah Palestin ke milik Islam.

setiap kali ak dengar perkataan Israel, bibir ini mendesik "cis..!!"

Monday, November 30, 2009

pelukis armatur itu tidak mengetahui


The Amateur Artist

he comes with nothing,
expect to draw somehow an 'art', he said
instead he imagine the picture of his lover,
and the moment not to be missed
he picture her well,
as if she was there by the time he starts to draw

but time,
it has been a problem
as every line drawn was a waste
every reminiscence of carbon and water line
the picture he made,
it was love itself
majestically embedded on a scrap paper

waste has it been
dumped in a curragh perhaps?

there was nothing left in his heart
Love was pictured,
and gone. forever

*this was written on 1910 GMT+2, 21/10/09
*on the tram at Alexandria, Egypt

Saturday, November 21, 2009

menyedari hakikat wanita lebih ramai, maka lelaki kurang setia


tika mananya kita melihat kembali akan sekeliling kita, lihat sajalah ke mana-mana.
nescaya yang memakai tudung, yang free hair, yang cantik, yang seksi itu lebih ramai.
tiada lagi tatapan di mana banyaknya jantan gantang memenuhi ruangan kaki lima suasana.

keluh, penulisan seperti ini tiada gaya.

permulaan semula.

sigh, its like everyday we talked about gurls. its a common topic to speak about them gurls.
and here is some findings that i got from some conversation.

TepT: hey, u gurls saving duit x?
Gurl: saving? ahahaha.. nk wat per?
TepT: i dunnoe, kawin perhaps?
Gurl: please lar.. kitorg shopping jer la..!! baru syok..!!
TepT: owhh..

and on another conversation,

Tept: dude, apsal ko saving sangat nih?
Dude: haii, nk kawin punyer pasal, simpanla duit.
TepT: owh, then duit nih pakai nk wat per?
Dude: dunnoe la, utk bini ak pakai nnt kot. mmbahagiakan isteri la katakan..
TepT: hahaha..
Dude: hahahaha..

i wud give a huge LOL to this matter.
pergghh.. kaum Adam nih its like we are too good to be true.
while we crank our expenditure for thinking about our future, that
probly and meticulously where we would be married, and by that i mean is having a wife,
and this so called wife needs to be fed and make happy, with that we need money,
urrgghh.. wait, theres to much coma, i lost my point.

my point is, please la guys. u all are getting skinny n skinnier evry week from saving.
while those gurls are out there having their fun.
suppose that we shud hav more fun than them la.
get ur expenditure going with all the wishes that u ever dreamed of,
stop thinking bout saving cuz u wanna be married to someone. it sounds ridiculous.
for me maybe. sigh.

fund more of your expenditure on nice clothing, extraordinary books, exotic foods,
and more of the stuff we wouldnt get back there at malaysia.
owh wait. speaking about spending, Abe just bought himself a new VESPA.
yeahh, now thats an expenditure.

while talking bout them gurls made me think,
there are pretty much, so much gurls out there.
most of them are nice, so us guys here shudnt hav any bit of problem to find
the righteous one to be our wedded wife.

as for so, would any issue like 'guys wont be loyal as much' probly rise.
owh yeah, i totally agree that this kind of matter would happen.
yes, its undeniable that we have the so called "4 column" to be filled (could be filled),
and so we could be flirting around by never thinking that the world will come to an end. Lol

but this loyalty thingy, its not a matter that loyalty depends on the doer himself,
but with both cooperating in building trust and loyalty towards each other.
women should show loyalty too, of course. saying that loyalty of a man is on the edge
of extinction is completely false.
because loyalty is a 2 way subject, not by the guy or the girl themselves.

so girls, trust ur man.

trust him.

loyalty is on both of us.

seriously, that dude is saving just for that you could go for more shopping.

why not trust him?

he would be loyal.

and yes, if and only if he is a man.

by talking about loyalty,
i hope that my girl, wud love someone else more than me.

and that someone else, would be Rasulullah (peace be upon him).

nyata bahawa wanita itu lebih ramai, tapi, adakah wujudnya wanita yang mencintai Rasulullah SAW lebih dari suaminya sendiri?
(sepertimana zaman para sahabat dahulu?)

nyata, persoalan itu kembali kepada wanita.

sigh, how i wish that i could find one like this.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

lame on a plane


Of Our Little Stories that Rhyme

Its a little awkward here,
Seeing your face so bright,
Calling out my name so loud.

I could have been speechless,
With not a word to say,
By your prettiness undisplayed.

Cant stop looking in your eye,
So let me just say that I,
Had fallen in love with you.

Of our little stories that rhyme,
talking about our past time,
where it was first I see your smile.

With the distance we have,
we cant just meet again,
as before at the same place.

Let me just promise to you,
that i would cross the ocean,
to hear your lips say I do.

But that is out of boundary,
out of my willingly,
so pray, that God give me,

the future as be it we,
and just live on happily,
under the roof built by you and me.

*this was written on 0818 GMT +8, 13/10/09.
*i was on the plane to Cairo.
*So, generous readers, what do you have to criticize on this?

Monday, November 16, 2009

down the hill


Down the Hill

walking down the hill,
after working all day with the tips of my pen,
hearing your footsteps,
the steps that i adore really resembles,
loudly your voice called,
startles me up with a chill down my spine.

looking at your eyes,
seeing you beg for something u cant afford to,
but your voices pleases,
words that soothes plead for forgiveness,
with your smile that shines,
happiness indeed spreads through the air, hell yeah.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

desire, for the love of God


its a question that starts from the scratch. the scratch in which it wouldnt even exist if He is not here. He is the reason off all being. the reason of the wide horizon world and the anormously wide open sky that we cudnt even reach it by any means. while, He, as God, as our God, give us the opportunity to see His creation and be astonished by them all.
by the astonished feel we say Subhanallah.

i started asking questions to God, do u exist?
the He showed me as u came back from the mosque, i can see a car, a red car, who parked the car here? i then asked myself. i dunt know, nobody told me. perhaps just some average egyptian? but then, i rememberd, who parked our earth, our mother earth at the solar system?
ahhh.. that MUST be God. He told us before. yes He did. in surah Yasiin. He placed the mother earth, the moon, and the sun in its orbit.
He had already told us that He is the one who placed them. then why still we are not confirmed about that?

God, U r the all loving. in fact, u even created love. love between one person to another, as it can be easily seen, the love which dwells from kindness, sacrifice, and all that, but we miss use it perhaps?
i mean, U, as God, gave us the mean of being loved, we are loved by our father, mother, sister, brother, our friends, and also we love a girl/guy that we are attracted to.
U create them, and so U give them love, and U give them the feel of loving me. and so i am loved.
As for that O Allah, how can i get this love? the LOVE as how others see it. its Love that im asking for,
as somehow possibly and how is it wonderful that maybe, im in Love with someone, and somehow i want her to Love me as well.
sigh, can i just ask for the simple life in which i would be married to anyone here. and somehow in short time we develop ourself some real nice chemistry together, we make kids, we grew old, then we be dead, the we'll be seing U, and our kids too.
but then, is it possible for me to do that? can i just gamble and ramble on marriage?
maybe i cant, cuz possibly somehow that currently im attracted to this girl, right here.
maybe its somehow that how it would sound possible that im attracted to this girl.
yeah i told U twice. but then, what if, somehow, the way to gey to her is to have DATE with her,
to always CALL her just to hear that she's fine, to TEXT and say 'how are u?'..
despite the fact that we are not link by any mean or any approved bond.
i even asked advice from one of my friend and this person whether she said that i should do that shit such as calling, dating, texting etc.
God, i dont want that, u see, if and only if i love her, then right now, i would stay away from her.
i dunt want any of our action to be sinned. as somehow maybe, that there would be time where our love could be somehow built by lust. lust that is whisperd to us as if we forgot, somehow, that U created us and give us the Love.
if and only if i love her, i'd stay away. with least calling, texting, and all that stuff.

God, give me the time. give us the time to be patient to ourself, for we wont be driven by lust to do the thing we desire.
we dont want to be sinned, i dunt want it myself, and i dunt want it for her. how can i asked U, for she stays. stays in which i mean that she could stay single perhaps. in just some more few years perhaps? so as for by that time, possibly and wonderfully that we would be ready for ourself to get married together? Sigh, am i asking too much?
it cant be, cuz its the way that it should be right? i mean, where does all this dating come from,
its not from anything that U thought us, from U, U gave us a prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him).
as so, he thought us about love, sacrifice, life, and everything from the single most tiniest thing to the most enormous thing in our life.
and in his (peace be upon him) teaching, there is nothing and completely none of them that say,
"owh, its okay too date. its okay to watch movies together, well, its just for a couple of hours.
owh, its okay for u to walk together peacefully, holding hands all thinking that all would be fine,"
as for as for that time, your Angel 'Atid is really doing his work writing all ur sins.
NO, there has never been a teaching like that. i dunt want to touch her or anything. that is what i called from earlier, in which somehow our love could be driven by lust.

i want her to be nice, she would be like all the sort in which she is perfect.
if impatient builts inside her or me, and in which any means possibly that it cud happen,
and maybe the feel that im having right now WOULD somehow be possibly gone, the i wud return to U, O Allah, as u r d one who planned my life. U had planned it very well, i got great parents, great brothers and sisters, i made friends in which
some of them are awesome and some of them are just pretend to be, u even gave me this very tiny little itsy bitsy extra AV node in my heart,
in which this very tiny little itsy bitsy AV node cuz make my heart pumps almost 4 times greater than a normal heart.
but with this AV node too, O Allah, that i remembered U back. i stopped on taking drugs and stopped on caffeine.
which in turns maybe, possibly would kept me healthier longer. And so, getting back to my point,
in which, i might lose her, is none of that matters to me, cuz U created her, U made me had a crush on her, U made me able to buy somewhat a fluffy stuff
back there at Australia, and so much more that U had done to me.
If and only if this feel is gone, I would return to You. cuz possibly, that U had a greater plan for me, maybe not with her, and perhaps with somebody else. cuz in the end of the day, i realized that I only need YOUR LOVE. I only need your Love, O Allah.

Owh My God, U r my God. O Allah,
thank you for everything that u had given to me. Alhamdulillah. All praise Allah, as He is the Almighty and the All powerful.
The ever live, the start, and the end. He is our God, He is our creator. Praise Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

that would be nice


i havnt wrote any simple post for such a long time already.
n i promise i'll make this quick and simple.

currently im trying to make ice cream. theres a vanilla ice cream in my freezer waiting for it to freeze. it wud be nice if the ice cream is ready now.

peti ais krim Wall's

ahh.. wud it be nice if we had one of this peti ais krim here at egypt.. so many choices, but yet, we wudnt make any mistakes in choosing them. cuz they r all awesome..!!


Monday, November 9, 2009

juggling between jealousy and fear, with hate along the way


as usual, my post uses certain code that makes it only readable by only few of the readers that really knew me. i dont need to privatize my blog but i use language that requires a deciphering act of people with IQ higher that 140. (i'm a 120)

i found jealousy for a long time already. jealousy had been a mystery to me. but after a few years of tracking down the jealousy that builds inside me, im starting to knew jealousy better.
however, with jealousy attached to lust, its far too difficult to gain jealousy without lust along the way. without lust, i'll be naive. but hope there is for jealousy and my temptation and this fact is supported by our anxiety. yes, its hope. for jealousy. as my distance from jealousy makes heart grew fonder.

as fonder as how it would be, fear came to this alone temptation. why is it that fear has to come from all the darkness that i felt before, as it lights the dark as if righteous is here. the fear that comes and softly it crouches towards this temptation. while fear makes self does tons of mistakes for the spontaneous movement that had been done. why is it even wrong to make action while in fear? then the soul now really needs to cool down as fear has made a lot of problem towards temptation. or is temptation made the mistakes? why is it even called mistakes and mishaps at the first place?

while juggling jealousy and fear is like juggling swords with fire, a hell kind of measures need to be well prepared as in any moment, any which, could fell while it juggles up high in the air. the higher we juggle, the heavier the consequences would be if we mishandle them. and the result would be, a heart that is tore apart and blood that turns like oil burning the whole body as it splatters and ooze from the veins. an explosion. this is the part where temptation says shit!.

but its not the case yet, the game became more exciting when hate comes. hate, as a single adjective like jealousy and fear, would somehow pushes any of the swords that had been juggled. as jealousy and fear already cause enough, and yet hatred comes along the way. its either temptation that held in has to reject jealousy that lives, or fear would develop to a fire that burns.

jealousy, fear, hate. to get fear, we should develop hatred. to be jealous, it doesn't need neither hate nor fear. it only requires anxiety that develops a little bit everyday.

in the end, all of us would be confused with the adjectives that we wish that it wouldn't even exist. but hey, they spice up our temptation.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

its that time of the season


there had been a recent seasonal change.

it might be the stars that doesn't shine on Cancer if u believe in stars.
it may also be the clouds that shadows my path and i cant look to make a decision.
probably its the eyes where it gets too blurry and everything seems unclear.
where there is autoimmune and it eats up the brain and frankly i cant remember a thing.
its the time at which i walk with cat's paw and i just walk like a ghost through the hallway.
anything that i do seems to be wrong, and anything i did left unspoken.
nothing in any title that you're writing would be read and it would be left as remains.
there would be faeces from the anus and it feels like it came back like you're a rodent.
its the time where most of us fell into a sand trap and you're the only one that cant escape.
you are running as far as you can but u still cant reach the clouds that are above of your sky.
you tried to drink from some kind of crystal glass and it slipped off, turning into dust and water.
you called someone you loved but the operator is the only person who would loved to answer it.
its the time at which anything you touches burns, and everything you look at disappear.

what time is it now?

its that time of the season.


i would wait, patiently,

as my star wud shine as the brightest of all to the last galaxy that can be seen by our eyes.
the sun would glistens and heavenly the eye would give me the most righteous guidance.
where eyes are sharp as an eagle and be so wise to make decision like a falcon.
the neuron would travel as twice as fast and the world would slow down as u desire.
its the time where every footsteps count and people stood silently as they feel your aura.
anything you do is right, and everything you spoke off would be taken action.
the writing will be highly appreciated and it wud be some kind of a legend masterpiece.
there would be flowers that grew from the fertilizers that colours the sky beautifully.
its the time you're on a stepping stone and walk u will be further to the other horizon.
you ran as far as you can and you feel that the grass is greener, and the sky is clearer.
with your poise that pleases, everyone is looking at you while you take a sip of the champagne.
you didn't talk to your love one, as left you both unspoken with your lover on the phone all night.
everything you look at shines, and everything you touches grew beautiful and sheen.


Thursday, November 5, 2009


imbecile /"ImbIsi;l/
· n. informal a stupid person.
· adj. stupid.
– DERIVATIVES imbecilic adj. imbecility n. (pl. imbecilities).
– ORIGIN C16 (as adj. in the sense ‘physically weak’):
via Fr. from L. imbecillus, lit. ‘without a supporting staff’.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

hatred and heart of my colleagues


"bapak lame dow lecture harinih. ngantok kedowk."

"isyy, lame nyer lecturer nih ckp.. dh la tuh. org nak balik dh nih."
(padahal masa ad lg 20 minit)

"weyh, ko nak tanye soalan ker (sedang ak angkat tangan). x yah r dowh..jgn r,, bia abis awal."

"buku mahal dowh, fotostat jer.. ape punyer arab bla3.. (click here to read more).."

i can only say 1 thing to people like this:
highlight to see the word bellow

perlu mengeluh ketika mnuntut ilmu kah?


marilah kita sama2 mendoakan kesejahteraan Farahin.
ak sgt faham kesusahan yg dihadapi pesakit jantung.
kenape yea? cuz ak pn ad abnormaliti pada jantung aku.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

kuat bagus juga


Vote for the best superpower...

look at the sidebar,

please n TQ

i cant believe that i wrote this.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

no coffee for me, thanks.


few years ago,
i recon that something wrong is goin on with my heart.

i didnt eat,
then my heart would go tachy.

i didnt drink,
then my heart would go tachy.

i didnt sleep,
then my heart would go tachy.

i'm doin nothing,
then my heart would go tachy.

i'm running,
then my heart would go tachy.

i'm constantly breathing,
but my goes tachy.

i'm breathing fresh air,
but tachy got in to me.


i then made an experiment.

"would looking at my crush@ admirer make my heart goes tachycardia?"

i then search for her.

by the first gaze,
i can feel it. owh wait, thats not it. thats actually my heart which skips a beat.

so i find some other who i admire,
hurrmm, nope, tachy is just isnt there.

then i search for the 1st admirer once again,
ahh..!! thats it, tachycardia.

but i wasnt satisfied with the results.

but then i checked the results again. how? i tried to look at the admire's face again and again.

tachycardia wasnt there. so i decide that i wouldnt admire her anymore, maybe cuz my heart wouldnt go tachy anymore with her. so i stop admiring.

so there was my heart, goes tachycardia for no reasons. i thought its because my heart that tends to a certain feeling. but i guess that it wasnt strong enough.

so a few months ago, i check with a doctor, a cardiologist.

he diagnosed me and found out that i got AV nodal re-entry tachycardia.

never heard of it? search them by google.

by this, i'm a cardiac patient. i am vulnerable to any other cardiac disease now.
this tachy is not killing, but just disturbing. i rejected any kind of medication. and im also on a caffein free diet. a little bit of caffeine and this thing would burst. my heart cud beat at 240+ per minute. but i cant die like this.

if im killed by having a heart attack, most probly i wud end up at the mortuary to be post-mortemed before being buried.

but let me die in a normal way, in a way which a post-mortem wudnt be required. any way, in which post mortem wud not be required. yes its true that we all die, but just let it not be that my chest is being split apart or my brain removed.

im on a caffeine free diet. so no coffee for me, thanks.

having a sip of coffee feels like heaven. coffee is just almost wonderful if ur obliged not to drink them.

anything that or prohibited for, would be fun.

a wise friend of mine said that God took a favor from you in return, He reply with some other that you wud favors you more.

i believed.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

noisy international calls


its 12 days from d last i saw my mom.

i really miss her.

yeah. i'm a son who misses his mom. a LOT.


and because today is 25th October,

its Jasmin Munchar Elias 18th birthday..


dunno much to say, just happy birthday, of a wish from miles away.

may u be chosen to UM and succeed in Med School to be a great Dr.

Friday, October 23, 2009

you're the lover of a 3rd voice

Assalamualaikum.. from inspiration by Amin Hudi

You're the lover of a 3rd voice

i cant figure why she cant reply it,
immediately after truly said that i missed her,
its not like she would go ran out of credit,
as she is one of the none getting richer.

then it would just be me and the blankey without having the ability of the capability to turn mr sparky up and turn the room warmed up.
end up its just me being lonely shaking up the freezes chills zero that should have killed me moments ago.
braced it to find some words from your heart that cud be the ignition to warmed up my heart but all the nonsense just caught back to me.

as she is the O lover of every 3rd voice
that speaks from anyone with a smart ass,
but why do you have to act as cold as ice,
cant we had just a little bit of compromise?

so i scrunched up,
get the chill out,
move a little bit to warm up,
but chill still got my butt,
i got fu**ed up,
but what the heck,
its not i'm in the end of the world to feel sad.

what i'm telling you here is that i'm being sincere,
that my voice came from the heart like an art,
but all this talk is like you're deaf to hear,
so i lie down on my back and just like that.

i hold on and flipped my phone,
waiting for you to beat my tone,
but could it be that the feel has gone?
and so stand me here all alone.

of the voices from the 3rd that kept u by close to all the chemical but all was just zero to anything that is worse than anything that has been given to you.
let the lying speaks of the truth that cant be handled, not long after a couple of weeks that a couple has been where a crack appears and the 3rd has speak.
they're numb by their uno and dos as nothing is compared to the voices that speaks for me, sincerely when i gave a huge wave of words that i admit.

Anwar Azhari
5 PM GMT +2 23/10/2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

kau kajang, dia camp caesar. jua takut dan geli



Pakcik 1: eh, kamu ada ikut bapak kamu pergi potong mayat??
Anwar: haah. ad ikut, kadang2.
Pakcik 1: eiii, kamu tak takut ker?
Anwar: ermm.. x de pn.
Pakcik 1: kamu potong macam mana ya? ada macam kerat 18 ke?
Anwar: eh x de la. macam biasa2 saja. buka dada pakai pisau dan tengoklah. kadang2 buka kepala.
Pakcik 1: eii.. lepas itu kamu nampak la semua benda?
Anwar: haah. nampak la.
Pakcik 1: eii.. kalau pakcik tengok mayat je dah x boleh.. eii.. berani btul kamu.

"pakcik 2 datang duduk berdekatan"

Pakcik 1: eh, dia nih dah potong mayat. hati2 kau, nanti dia boleh potong kau.
Pakcik 2: haa..? kamu potong mayat? bedah siasat la ya?
Anwar: haah.
Pakcik 1: kau jangan main2 dengan dia, silap2 dia kerat 18 kat kita.
Anwar: hahaha.. x de la. saya biasa2 saja.
Pakcik 1: kamu ada keluarkan apa2 jantung orang ke?
Anwar: haah. ada jugak. tengok utk tengok la nape org tuh mati. kadang2 keluarkan otak.
Pakcik 2: kamu x takut ker?
Anwar: x de pn.. kot.
Pakcik 2: dia ni pakai "ilmu" nih. boleh tak takut kamu ya?? ish2..


setelah disari kata
Anwar: pakcik, nak air 12 botol..
Ammu: jap ek. ak masukkn dlm kotak. kamu Malaysia kan? belajar perubatan? tahun berapa?
Anwar: haah.. belajar medic. tahun 2.
Ammu: haaa.. sape nama kamu?
Anwar: Anwar. ko lak?
Ammu: saya g***e. eh, ko blaja medic ad x tengok org mati?
Anwar: ada.
Ammu: ada belah mayat ke? faham kan? belah mayat?
Anwar: haah. ada.
Ammu: eeiii... kamu potong mayat?!
Anwar: haah. ak potong mayat.
Ammu: eiii... camne tuh.. susah nyer.. ko buat kat ner? kat sini?
Anwar: x de la. kat sini x de buat lagi. ak wat kat malaysia.
Ammu: owhh.. eii.. ko ada nampak semua la? alb, riun, wa kibdah? (jantung, paru dan hati?)
Anwar: haah. ada tengok semua tuh.
Ammu: lepas tuh semua isi perut tuh kamu keluarkan ker?
Anwar: haa. keluarkan jugak.
Ammu: isi perut semua ko keluarkan??!!
Anwar: haah.. ada la. betul..
Ammu: eiiii.. kalau ak, x leh r.. eiii.. susah jer.. kamu macamna bila kamu tengok mayat tuh? ada takut ke biasa2 er?
Anwar: ermm.. biasa je kot.
Ammu: eeiissshhh.. kalo ak x leh la.. ko badan ko kecik je. camne ko potong semua tuh?
Anwar: potong je la. x de masalah.
Ammu: x de masalah yea? haha.. eiii.. ak x leh dowhh..

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

solah.. ya anwar, solah. solah ya azhari.


dont have much to say.
the 3rd part of SOAA-JME is still not finished.

so i got these instead.

watch it.

be like BADAR.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

enjoying all 4 seasons in 1 week!!


i had a great time at Melbourne, Australia.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

lolxing billabong, kangaroo kickadong


its been such a while since i update my blog..

its a lovely spring here at Mebourne, Australia.

the air from south is very cool and yet the sun is blazing.
the flowers bloom as how it colours the sky by the blow of the wind.
the beauty of victoria demands me to be grateful to our Creator.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

suddenly she smiles


kadang2, fantasi memukau mata sehingga hati berkata.

Situasi 1: seorang lelaki, melihat seorang wanita cantik, seksi, dan menarik, terasa ghairah dan mula mengusha-usha wanita tersebut berkali-kali kerana baginya masa yang diambil bagi membuat tatapan tersebut adalah masa untuk menghargai keindahan alam.

Situasi 2: seorang wanita, melihat seorang lelaki kacak, hensem, tinggi, berkulit sedikit gelap dan bertubuh sasa, wanita tersebut terus tepersona dan mula berkata sesama kawan-kawan dengan bisikan yang boleh didengari lelaki tersebut. mengatakan "eyh, kau usha lah orang tuh, hensem kan? seswai x ngan ak?"

Situasi 3: Tiga orang lelaki, bertubuh sasa sederhana, berkulit agak cerah, muka kacak biasa, melihat seorang gadis yang di mana rupa parasnya menyerupai MIRRAH ATIKA. dengan wajah itu, secara tiba-tiba sahaja senyuman dilontarkan kepada 3 orang lelaki itu, Anwar, Tept, dan Azhari.


Perjalanan ke Seremban- KTM Kajang.

My mom drops me by the KTM Station.

Easy said, there is this girl, her face looks like Mirrah Atika. (why i use her to describe the girl? because i read her blog and look at her pictures sometimes, and they almost look alike)

I didnt know for the reason that she suddenly smiled at me. At first I thought she really is Mira and so i just stared at her with a curious and confused face. I couldnt relpy the smile because she made me confused, maybe she is just happy and happens to glance to me at that time and moment. By the way she is reading a book, so probably she found something funny @ happy written that made her to smile. OMG, she's totally gorgeous! she wore a boxed patterned shirt with casual jeans and a black scarf. Her face is pure white, she is totally adorable, and real pretty too.
She sat with her mother back then. I coudnt help it to jot down what i saw in a book. By writting, i think i look like an intellectual. lolx not really. By writting on the bench beside her's, i tried to expose my feeling by writting. And so that i wont forget this moment when i returned home to update my blog. I was hoping that when the train arrives, we would board it together and maybe i would start to know her and her mother while on our way to seremban.

***the train to Seremban arrives***

They didnt got up! i tought that they would also board the train. So as i get into the train, i just look for a nice spot and sat alone. Maybe the girl and her mom would board the train to Singapore for Aid al-Fitri. The tense that i felt now, eventhough minimum, still, she looks nice.

I hope that we could meet again someday, Owh adorable mysterious girl.
or maybe we would meet at singapore, during Aid al-Fitri. haha..

p/s: situasi 1 dan 2 hanyalah untuk mengingati anda semua adalah lumrah dan fitrah untuk kita sebagai manusia biasa merasa tertarik dengan lawanan jantina kita. dan situasi 3 adalah bagaimana kami bertiga menghadapinya. merasakan tidak patut untuk kami menulis tentang perkara ini pada blog? ini hanyalah sebuah kisah pendek yang indah untuk dikongsi.

Monday, September 14, 2009



statement biasa dari pakar-

"jasad seorang lelaki, bertubuh sasa, berumur dalam lingkungan umur (...), berada dalam keadaan kaku mayat dan lebam mayat yang sempurna... "

mengapa terdapat ayat seperti ini?

kerana terdapatnya kes kematian yang melibatkan pihak berkuasa seperti pihak polis.

dalam bilik mayat, seronok. pelbagai boleh dipelajari. dari anatomi hinggalah psikologi. dan tentu sekali bilik mayat ini menjadi lubuk kepada pathologi.

sekiranya dilihat bedah siasat yang sedang berlangsung,
perasaan anda,
fikiran anda,

masing2 berbeza.

ad yang takut, ad yang gentar, ad yg nk terkencing, ad yg pengsan, ad yg geli, ad yg nk tmuntah, ad yg collapse, ad yg mnjauhkn diri, ad yg berasa loya, ad yg tiba2 saja jadi x tentu arah, ad yg berani, ad yg mengantuk, ad yg bersuka ria, dan ada juga yang fokus.

namun yang nyata,

semua juga akan tertanya2 soalan ini.

"kenapa si mati ini terlantar di sini?"

jawapan itu akan terjawab dengan mudah.
masa untuk mengenal pasti punca kematian memakan masa dari 1 saat (bagi pakar) hingga 2-3 jam atau lebih (bagi kes rumit)

forensik, adakah seronok?

jawapannya, YA.

utusan ini tidak boleh ditulis panjang2 sangat. demi menghormati si mati dan jabatan forensik itu sendiri.

Friday, September 11, 2009

apabila fikiran terganggu- moreh 3


Anwar mengajak Tept dan Azhari untuk menikmati hidangan moreh yang disediakan di rumah Anwar.

maka Anwar menjamu mereka dengan Teh O panas dan kuih Koci.

Tatkala itu, Tept memulakan bicara.

TEPT: kawan2, ak rase smthin wrong a kblekangan nih. rase cm bnyak sgt x kna.

ANWAR: ape yg x kena tuh Tept? ko angau jatuh cinta ek?

TEPT: ntah r, ak rase cm ya je. tp d**m r i feel ashamed la to talk about this matter. feels unappropiate.

AZHARI: lorh.. ko nih, citer je la ngan ktorg, bkn ad salah pn citer masalah sesame membe.

TEPT: Sigh.. guys, its like this, i had been 'angau'ing for a couple of weeks already, theres this particular gurl which in this case, her face or wajah kept enter n out in my thought. smtimes i felt them as a distraction. smtimes even during the solat, this particular angau wud happen.

AZHARI: hurmm.. if thats the case, who is that girl? tell us.

TEPT: the girl is, x kn la ak nk ckp kot.. rahsia la

ANWAR: so in this matter ur trying to say that u like this girl la??

TEPT: i dunno la Anwar, i dunnoe if so. but i really noe that im in deep angau, cam s**t la kalo ak x leh fokus mnda yg ak nk wat kalo ak tfikir psal dye je. d**m r.. cmner nih..

AZHARI: ko cmni la, kalo ko still angau asyik pkir psal dye, ko at least time tgh angau tuh, ko doakan utk kebaikan dye, kebaikan ibu bapa dye, keluarga dye n lain2.. ko manfaatkan la angau ko tuh. kalo ko angau psal dye je ko trus doakn dye. bermanfaat la sket. kalo ko tgh angau tuh ko mntak Allah jodohkn ko ngan dye pn ok what.. hahaha..

TEPT: hahaha.. hmm.. btol gak tuh Azhari. x tfikir lak ak nk wat cmtuh.

ANWAR: hmm Tept, cmne kalo ko ckp je la kat dye yg ko sker dye.

TEPT: huh??!

ANWAR: rileks r.. ko luahkn je la prasaan ko. ko ckp je yg ko sker dye. mne taw dye sker ko gak ker.. hahaha.. nnt dpt la ke 'step' yg seterusnya.

TEPT: haha.. ko nih memandai je la Anwar. ak still x nk ad relationship la ngan sesape. lgpn ak nk btol2 fokus ngan pelajaran ak, disamping pencapaian sampingan ak. ak rase ak x perlukn mnda relationship cmnih. ak rase ak still leh go on sendri, n then after ak berjaya jd housement bru la amek langkah, x bgitu ke?

AZHARI: hurrmm.. kalo ko terlepas dye camne Tept? cuz ko dh mcm ad rase suke ngan dye, but then skali dye ngan mamat len. nnt ko terasa tensyen ke, lg susah ko nk fokus study ko.

TEPT: sigh.. kalo dh cmtuh, means bkan la jodoh ak. so whut to do? maybe ak cari len r..

ANWAR: hahaha.. ko cm snang je ckp nk cari yg len. mcm la bnyak sgt pompuan kat dunia nih. eh wait.. mmg bnyak pn. muahaha... haah la tept. btol gak kate ko. bkn susah kot nk cari yg len.

TEPT: haha.. i told ya so. since im not into flirting (and this link strengthens my point), i think i'll just gonna be the one who stands aside and waits for anything that comes.

AZHARI: so, how bout all your angau thing?

TEPT: i think i can manage it. its nt impossible to do, just 4get about her and ill be going along fine.

ANWAR: haha.. nice to hear u talking like this again Tept.

TEPT: and by the way readers, u all x bosan ke dgr ktorg bckp2 cmnih?? hhaha.. lolx

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

janganlah bergaduh


saya Anwar. TepT dan Azhari tiada pada utusan hari ini.

wahai kawan, janganlah bergaduh,
jangan kerana perkara kecil kau perbesarkan,

jangan kau toreh sehingga berdarah hatinya,
janganlah kau sepak terajang sampai lebam matanya,
jangan kau berlaga lutut dengan anunya,
tentu sakit dia akan terasa,
sakit dowhh.. kalau kau berlaga lutut dengan anunya,
jangan kau tumbuk sampai begok pipinya,
jangan kau KameHameHa sampai terbakar badannya,
jangan kau lightsaber badannya sampai terbelah dua,
jangan kau cubit dengan kuat teteknya,
nescaya jadi biru sampai esok jua tetap birunya,
jangan kau pukul belakang telinganya,
takut2 nanti muka dia jadi senget di sebelahnya,
kerana terkena horner's syndrome mcm altantuya,
jangan kau cucuk badannya dengan kryptonite,
kerna itu dapat melukai jiwa yang kuat,
jangan kau cabut baterinya,
nanti rakanmu akan jadi lemah tak bermaya.

tak kira walau dia bukan rakan,
sekiranya kau cina dan dia arab,
bukankah kau juga ialah anak Adam,
janganlah kau, wahai orang mukmin,
janganlah kau bergaduh.

wahai kawan.
ini adalah nasihat Anwar kepada rakan.
andai diriku ini gagal merasai udara syawal,
maka ingatlah pesanku ini,
jangan kau bergaduh.

Friday, September 4, 2009

purnama pada malam itu- moreh 2


kali ini. 3 sahabat Tept, Anwar dan Azhari bermoreh lagi setelah selesai menunaikan solat sunat terawikh dan witir. seperti biasa, mereka akan berborak tentang hal-hal dunia yang sudah biasa kita dengari.


salam rakan2.. wah.. popiah basah menu moreh hari ini ya?


salam.. yea.. sungguh sedap sekali. ambil la bnyak sket..


sedap sungguh. nikmat2....
weyh Anwar, ko wat pe je kebelakangan nih??


ak cm biase2 je la.. kdg2 menghadiri kuliah forensik di hospital serdang, melihat bagaimana bedah siasat dilakukan, dan pelbagai lagi. ramai juga rakan2 kita yg lain turut serta, antaranya Irna, Fiza, Alif Asyraf, dan Marinah.


owh.. menarik sungguh. tentu banyak yang kau pelajari kan?


ya.. betul tuh. sungguh banyak yang ku telah pelajari.


apsal korg ckp skema gile hari nih??

cmnih la.. ak ad citer ttg umat islam nih. korg nk dgr x?


haa.. cerita la.



this is quite a rare phenomenon in which it happens at Jusco Cheras-Balakong. once every week, i spend my day at Mico Hair Saloon to get my hair loss treatment. and almost everytime that i wud perform Asar at the musolla.

the weird and rare occassion that i see is in which the malay @ muslims here wudnt want to form any Jemaah for their solat.

when i arrived at the musolla 2 minutes before Asar, i found out that there were 2 men. 1 is a middle-aged man with post malaysia uniform and the other one is a brother in his 20's, with long, curly, coloured hair and box patterned pants.

being the first one to accomplish the ablution, i walk through the musolla and roll down the carpet for the imam. the brother then finishes up with his ablution ang he catch up upon me. with a smile that pleases, he pleased me to be the imam. i told him to call upon the others by the Iqamah. he the recite it well and so i goes on with the takbir. while praying, i was hoping that the Jemaah would get bigger, as how i heard the sounds of water from people performing ablution.

But sadly, none of them joined us as they only pray by theirselves behind us. i became very sad but holding it in deep.

After the solat & doa, i asked the brother;

"why is it that there is no one that would join our Jemaah?"

he then raised up his shoulder telling me a positive unknown answer. he then get up and put on his shoe to get back to work. I followed him. he then asked me;

"do you oftenly pray here?"

"no, just sometimes." i said.

i then continue;

"i seldom pray here but the same thing kept happening. people just wont get together in a jemaah. even if theres already a jemaah going on, still they wudnt want to join them. sigh.. c'mon la, this is the holy ramadhan month. still they.. sigh.."

i then got up and walked away, the brother follows me behind. we walked aside till we reached the escalator and he raised his hand as a salam and a smile of a bright one.


ish3. kita nih dah btol umat akhir zaman..


but it really is true. when in public places, people just tend to runaway from any jemaah and pray by theirself. they thought that it would be easier and faster that way but they didnt realize what they really had missed.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

wanita normal, lelaki gila


persis pada bulan ramadhan ini ingin saya berbicara untuk mengajak saudara sekalian berfikir tentang sekeliling kita.

saya akan permudahkan utusan ini.

ketika waktu moreh di masjid jame' pekan kajang. 3 org lelaki berborak sesama mereka.


picture this.

a blazing hot sexy muslim woman who doesnt covers her head and wears thight pants and an XS sized shirts for an M sized body. just a regular one that we cud see in everyday streets.
*dunt trouble urself to imagine this cuz then ur fasting wud go to waste*


an ordinary man who wears short covering his knees and strap that is just above his belly button with no T-shirts.

picture them,

and tell me, which one is normal, n which one is not?


ur the one who is crazy Tept, u kept talking stuff like this as if people wud care for whut u spoke of.

please r do smthing that is lets say, profitable for your own self maybe?

just talk about smthing usual like what u had done in the day, or anything special maybe..

if u want to speak smthing about this particular aurat matter thing,

people wud just put it aside man.


its not like that la Anwar, what im trying to do is just a little effort of myself.

hope that it wud be blessed by Allah.

smtimes when i think back of egypt, i hope that it would happen in malaysia too.


what do u mean??


u see, during ramadhan, we cud only see women in their hijabs n almost that we see none of them expose theirselves to the public. its such a nice scene to look at.

but not at malaysia, yes its true that we r all fasting, but whut wud the fasting be if they (the women) wud only get sins for their exposure of aurat? its like the fasting is a waste, their fasting is like whut our prophet Muhammad says that there are people who fast but only get hunger and thirst. while we r trying to get blessings from Allah from our fast and all of our other devotion.

from whut i said earlier, its not like im trying to say that the guy is normal, but he is also out of ethiques if and only if he is in a formal occasion.

its a weird kind of perception in which women have their own culture limits of exposure. if the malay mostly wont show their belly button and shoulder (yet, i hope. eventhough there are some). while for the white men they cud show off almost anything.


Tept, ko nih ckp pnjang sgt lar, just go straight 2 d point la.


ok, my point is. during this ramadhan, be special, do smthing special, if ur not covering, try to cover up and loosen up a lil bit. be more ayu (modest). be gorgeous the way islam had thought us to be. spanjang kita puase kita beribadah, maka jagalah adab secara lebih teratur.


thats nice tept, i think that i wanna wrote smthing about smoking on the next post.


that would be nice.


hey guys. i got something else for u to ponder.

i saw on channel Discovery Travel & Living. where this guy from america is traveling across dhumyad. he got intrested in wearing the white Jubah as all other arabs does. so he got to a tailor shop with his travel assistant who is an arab women that converse fluently in english.

the american starts to question while the tailor is measuring up his body;

"so, wouldnt it get hot if i wear long sleeves like this?"

the arab woman confidently talks about science and says;

"no it wouldnt, because ur wearing white. so, during hot weather, the white colour reflects all the light as well as heat."

the american then question again;

"so why are the arab women dress in black? didnt they get hot inside??"

the arab woman was speechless and burst to laughter and say;

"i dont know"

so let me ask u this question, please dunt be shy or afraid to answer this.

why is it that the arab women wears black despite the fact that they are living in a geographical area which is totally blazing hot during the day?

Monday, August 31, 2009

jangan kau layu di hadapan aku


selamat menyambut ulangtahun kemerdekaan Malaysia yang ke-52.

bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi kerana dengan limpah kurnianya kita masih lagi berada dalam keadaan merdeka sejak 52 tahun yang lalu. bersyukur juga kerana kita dapat hidup dalam keadaan aman dan damai dalam negara yang unik ini, di mana kita terdiri daripada berbilang kaum yakni Melayu, Cina, India, dan ramai lagi.

persis si melur dalam bayu pagi itu,
tatkala sayu meraung di kuntuman pucuk,
menanti akan waktunya untuk mekar,
agar tampak indah, cantik lagi suci.

jangan kau layu di hadapan aku,
dalam itu aku sebak melihat kau,
berjuangkah aku atau tidak ketersampaian
usaha yang dikorbani tak tampak dihargai.

janganlah kau mati di hadapan aku,
tatkala rokok, dadah dan arak pada ginjalmu,
terasa aib ingin menutup sangkar kepala,
melihat tubuh kau menjadi saksi perbuatan.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

tesco kajang unusualness


situated 0.8km from my house, tesco kajang still is the place where people shops for their groceries and more. sometimes people took 2 trolleys to complete their shopping list. this is considered as normal as for the consuming power of the middle class society is currently increasing in malaysia. but the unusualness lies on something beyond any possibilities that it could happen.

This is usual: people Q-ing up + the very long lines

This is unusual: Kami pasti anda tak Q

please, dont make any false promises. be honest. its impossible. i saw more than 6 troleys Q-ing up. and less than 10 counters are open. shame.

Friday, August 14, 2009

sang puteri



terasa berat untuk memperbaharui utusan pada hari ini.
sedangkan blog ini bukanlah dibaca sangat oleh para blogger di luar sana.
namun atas kehendak hati, ku tulis jua beberapa patah untuk dibicara.
bukan itu sahaja, saya juga tidak mahu mengambil risiko bahawa penulisan saya ini akan dilabel sebagai penulisan beremosi tinggi kerana itulah perasaan saya sekarang ini.
oleh kerana emosi akan mengganggu corak penulisan saya, saya ambil keputusan untuk tidak menulis utusan pada hari ini.
apa sahajalah yang ku mampu lakukan. jikalau hati itu sudah merasa berat untuk menerima, maka tidaklah hati ini secara sensitif akan terguris.
malah hati ini akan terguris secara terus menerus sehingga ada yang akan menggilapnya.
walhal tidaklah begitu perit rasanya apabila diguris.
kerana tentu jua yang mengguris pun terluka.
tentu jua aku hanya akan menunggu si pengguris. tiadalah ku sangka bahwa dia sengaja namun atas dasar keterpaksaan, dia harus melakukannya.
yang membikin calar ini adakah salahku, ataupun salah dia?
tidak perlu jua menjawab persoalan itu. kerna tentu sekali takdir telah menentukan bahawa jarak perlu ada pada setiap manusia. jarak yang melakukan rasa kasih dan sayang.
akan si pelaku guris, tidaklah dia melukakan dengan terus langsung walhal hanya unsur sisipan dan bisikan yang membawa kuku tumpul mencalar hati.
ku tahan dahulu perit rasa pada hari ini.
mengharap bahawa sang melur akan muncul menyinari mentari pada esok hari.



laksana kisah sang Aladdin,
kisah tikus jalanan yang mencuri dan meminta untuk meneruskan kehidupan.
jatuh berpaut hatinya pada sang puteri jasmin indah di kayangan istana.
kecantikan yang memikat itu tidaklah berpaut pada hati tikus jalanan sahaja namun seluruh rakyat jelata pun turut tergoda.
dengan keajaiban jin biru yang muncul dari pelita ajaib itu,
maka berusahalah sang Aladdin untuk menawan hati puteri Jasmin.

tontonilah ini.
amat seronok.



sudahlah. hanya doa yang mampu dipinta kepada yang Maha Esa.
akan cintanya masih ku rasa.

dalam setiap nafas,
setiap langkah,
setiap perkara yang kulihat dan rasai,

di situlah masih adanya cinta, cinta tuhan, yakni cinta Allah.



ingin mengucapkan selamat hari Ilya Sofia.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

some kind of a clue


saw ur parents car while turning around despite the fact that visitors must have a pass to enter such a resort where i cant get 1 how that its not like before that i could just pay a visit and seems that its get harder to make a surprise to u.


this is a great song.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

bila hati terpaut, memang susah nak cabut


i had missing my family but my heart tells me to stay in egypt.
but my passport tells me that its about time to go home.
thought that i would make a surprise to my family.
but i had to spoil the surprise,
afraid that my mom would get too excited to see me.
*bila hati dah terpaut, memang susah nak cabut*


yesterday i had been doing something new for myself.
i learn how to do vector art and pen art of Adobe Photoshop.

its a cool thing to learn new things everyday.

i got something new from this very cool site

here is what i did and how i did it.

1. imagine a picture.
(actually just grab a picture)
use your own, wild imagination.

2. draw the outline of the picture.
with details of facial line, etc. this takes me about 6 hours

3. colour it.
with any colour u like. draw some facial shade, brighten the lips, some eye feature, scarf shading, and clothes. takes me about 8 hours

4. place the picture into a wallpaper canvas

5. customize it.customization takes me about almost 2 hours..
and voila!!!

***feel free to comment on my artwork. the girl is just an imagination of my mind. it shouldn't have any resemblance to anyone you knew around you.***