Wednesday, December 30, 2009

another year, a new one. 2010


a decade ago,
i was a child.

i remember that there was all sort of functions, exhibitions, fairs, competitions and much more
to celebrate the year of millenium.

we imagine that by this millenia, we should already have flying cars, jets with 3 times sonic speed,
laser guns, lightsabers, teleporting machine, phones of shape we never even imagine, and much else.

and theres more that we imagine, like sky high highways, people traveling in vacuum tubes as in
the hospital, flying skateborad ridden by any particular body by the streets, skyscrapers
which is almost covered by clouds at all places.

getting deeper and to imagine more, we might even be able to live on the moon.

but thats the story, better yet imagination of 10 years before. where our art teacher told us,

"OK kids, today i want all of you to imagine what would the millenium year looked like. and draw
them onto your paper"

FIY, i had to bought the A3 paper for 5 cent before i could draw. its worth it,
cuz what i imagine is that my father is driving a flying car with all my family inside that
fabulous looking car. and yes, of course, he drove it on the sky high highway.


and how about now?

10 years after imagining all these great pictures, we still havent made half of what we wished
to achieve. and yet, for some other things, we may had gotten more.

we may not have flying cars, but we got cars of high estethic values that everyone dreamed of.

we may not have sky high highways, but we sure got the SMART tunnel connecting some of the roads
i dont remember in KL to KLCC and Jalan Tun Abdul Razak(citation needed).

we may have not yet develop a paper thin handphone because it might have been lost too easily
but we do have iPhone, which for some reasons and sources declares it as the God of Phone.

and for more, we dont just live in a really tall steel and concrete building with glass bowl
as our roof but we still and always like it, to live in a simple terrace, semi-D, traditional
houses, and some lucky ones got to live in a bungalow. which is, i think, would be totally
more comfortable then a home made up of concrete heaten up by an digitaly pixeled fire
to replace the fireplace.


i dont know how my writing has gone right now,
but i still realize that i havent got out of my point.

cuz my point is, we still had to keep imagining ourself of a better future and work
our sweat to achieve it.

even as a teenager, i still imagine as i was when i was a kid.
and currently as a medical student,

i imagine the world would soon develop the medical technology and medical care so advance,
that treating a patient would be easy. and of course, i want to be there to see it.

be it 40 years or more from now on. i hope i'm there to see it.

happy new year 2010.

question: how would you imagine the future would be?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

spoken, the lamest 2 phrase


i keep on writing poetry, neither the readers like it or not, neither if I like it or not, my heart just tell me to write on, though probably the poetry wouldn't even be read, read by the person, the beloved that I'm writing too. but as it all just some words lining up to make a phrase, why bother what it meant and what it meant for? how can we say that these 26 letters,space, coma, and full stop could make an art or merely embed the feel of love?

Wait till the maghribi summer

all the thing that keep us apart
and keep us going on wider,
makes the sense in which i miss,
the heart and soul that i fell for.

on every detail of clouds,
i try to picture your image,
and the wind would blow through,
as if they know that i miss you.

let me run a footstep closer,
even though you know i cant to.

this shivering winter has hold me,
to wait till the maghribi summer.

i cant recognize the dream that i had,
where its me, a mosque and u there.
with a bed that is lovely to see,
in your hand you bear our 1st child.

why does this sounds so awkward to us,
because we're probably too young to.

but in else in any matter of fact,
i know that i would only love you.

dear my love i tried to told you,
that i had deeply fell in love with you.

from Melbourne to Sydney,
south pole breeze, sand storm,
green grass or white little snow,
you shall see this one day.

from Woodland to Cangi,
the concrete roads,
and the high metal building,
made me think of our future together.

from Alexandria to Cairo,
made me plead to God,
to make this bond eternal for us.

Kajang to Kuala Lumpur,
reminds me of home,
where both of us has come from the same place.

Makkah to Madinah,
this journey yet not started,
but we had already started running.

all the little souvenirs that i brought,
have a little meaning to say that,
wherever i go wherever i am,
i'm always thinking of you.

it might be the lamest 2 phrase,
but its all that i got in this short phase.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

kisah mimpi


mimpi bukan sebarang mimpi,
mimpi dibelai kasih dan rasa haru,
mimpi merasa sejuk,
hati berderbar,
jiwa dipulih bak whudu',
bunyi kembali lagu sediakala,
tidak gemuruh malah tenang,
menyingkap soal mata dan hati,
di mana penglihatan melihat kecantikan,
tiada jua yang pertama,
hanyalah yang kedua
jua mengaburi mata menjatuh hati.

istikharah telah memanggil mimpi,
mimpi diharap memberi petunjuk,
maka terlihatlah,
dan nyatalah,
suasana dan imej yang menyeluruh,
menunjukkan segala isi yang dipinta.

tiadalah lagi jua hati ini bingung,
diantara cabang yang lain untuk dipilih.

semalam, aku telah menyilam satu dunia yang baru dan asing bagi diriku. jejaknya langkah kakiku ini ke sebuah Masjid yang besar tersegam indah, lantai marmar berkilau seribu, tiang masjid lebar berdepa tiga lagi putih, kubahnya bulat, besar dan biru.

terdapatnya tangga di mana aku turun, turun menuruti langkah berjaga-jaga yang segan akan kebesaran-Nya. mencecah langkah terakhir, terlihat wajah seorang rupawan yang tidak ku kenali, baju kurungnya indah seindah-indah persalinan, rambutnya hitam dan lurus serta panjang melepasi dada. mukanya yang putih seputih suria membuat ku tergamam akan kecantikannya.

"masuk di sini", kata rupawan itu.

di bawah masjid itu terdapatnya satu bilik, ruangan sederhana dan sama seperti latar yang lain, berwarna putih. terdapatnya sebuah katil yang sandarnya seorang lagi rupawan yang langsung* ku tidak boleh gambarkan. maka hanya dia kah? tidak. sandarnya itu sambil mengendong seorang bayi dan jelita itu jua mendodoikan bersama lagu irama yang menusuk jiwa indah suaranya. hanya cahaya** yang ku nampak.

aku keluar sebentar, hendak mengambil whudu'. maka berjalanlah beberapa langkah aku ke sebuah kamar berperigi. maka berwhudu'lah. dan sedarlah ke realiti, mendengar azan subuh memanggil jasad yang lemah ini berjemaah subuh.

*langsung: menimbulkan suara fitnah jika digambarkan
**cahaya: tidaklah jelas imej yang dilihat, namun tergambar di hati si jelita itu.

persoalan: aku akan "membina masjid" kah?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Diagnosis: AV nodal re-entry tachycardia


5 minutes with Prof Dr Amal Hussein-
Professor of Physiology, Alexandria Faculty of Medicine

Tept: Professor, i got smthing to ask you about this phenomenon.

Prof: Come again??

Tept: i got some questions concerning the reentry mechanism.

Prof: Ok.. whuts ur question?

Tept: how can we stop it?

Prof: owhh.. how can we stop it?

Tept: yes.. how can we stop it if it occurs?

Prof: do you have it?

Tept: errrr.. ahhh...

Prof: u got this?

Tept: ermm.. haah..

Prof: why? are u under stress?

Tept: not quite..

Prof: do u have any relationship with the gurls?

Tept: well, no. owh, maybe a little. but i'll say no.

Prof: hahaha.. r u being too sensitive in your relationship and all the things happening to you?

Tept: i dunt think so.. no no..

Prof: how many hours did u sleep?

Tept: 6.. smtimes 8.. maybe more..

Prof: owhh.. thats good. never sleep late, ok?

Tept: owhh.. ok.

Prof: did u have stress with ur study and drink coffee?

Tept: errmm.. no. i stopped caffeine long ago. about 3-4 months ago.

Prof: u smoke?

Tept: no

Prof: good. how many times per day u got this attack?

Tept: 9 times per day..

Prof: D8. 9 times..??!!

Tept: yeah but that is about 3-4 months ago.

Prof: so how about now?

Tept: well, i stop on caffeine and all, i exercise more, so its just 1 attack evry 2-3 days.

Prof: ahhh...

Tept: i had seen my cardiologist before and he suggest that i took medicine but i refused.

Prof: dunt take any medication. especially in ur age. what else did he say?

Tept: he said stop on caffeine and all that.

Prof: u know, there is a way to stop it. u shud try to put ur finger in the throat. try to make urself vomit. then it stimulates the vagal stimulation.

Tept: u mean, in the throat like this?

Prof: yes.. yes.!! deeper into the throat. as if u would vomit.

Tept: ahh... i c.. my cardiologist told me to imitate the action of defecating.he said that d imitating action also stimulate the vagal nerve.

Prof: ahh.. well, try not to get too sensitive in your relationships.. and try not to be under stress all the time.. have plenty of rest, and dont eat too much in one course. do you always eat a lot?

Tept: yes.. of course.

Prof: dont eat too much. I sometimes have the attack too when i am on my full stomach. sometimes i feel too hungry that i eat a lot in one course. and then my full stomach iritates the heart through the diaphragm and causes this reentry.

Tept: ahh..

Prof: and my uncle, he's a cardiologist, have this kind of attack too.. and each time he got this attack, he put his finger in the throat to try to vomit. and he told me this.

Tept: ahh.. i c..

Prof: i'll be asking more to the cardiologist about this to know more. and by that time, take care of urself..

Tept: thank u prof. thank you..

Prof: Thank you..

Saturday, December 5, 2009

suara hati yang meneriak tanpa sengaja


Alexandria - Cairo - Suez Canal - Sinai - Taba'

Breakfast on a Gulf. with dogs and deserted view.

I can see Palestine's border from here. We are so close to Palestine. too close. InsyaAllah, one day, Palestine will be ours..!!

Next to Sallehuddin Al-Ayyubi's Fort.
Permandangan palestin lebih jelas. ku teriak tanpa sengaja.

"Palestin..!! I'll get u back..!!"

berada di kubu Sallehudin menampakkan kecerdikan Sallehudin dalam menawan palestin.
tak tahu mengapa, dalam hati yang kecil ini tiba-tiba merasa panas membara.
Bara yang ingin mengembalikan Tanah Palestin ke milik Islam.

setiap kali ak dengar perkataan Israel, bibir ini mendesik "cis..!!"