Monday, November 30, 2009

pelukis armatur itu tidak mengetahui


The Amateur Artist

he comes with nothing,
expect to draw somehow an 'art', he said
instead he imagine the picture of his lover,
and the moment not to be missed
he picture her well,
as if she was there by the time he starts to draw

but time,
it has been a problem
as every line drawn was a waste
every reminiscence of carbon and water line
the picture he made,
it was love itself
majestically embedded on a scrap paper

waste has it been
dumped in a curragh perhaps?

there was nothing left in his heart
Love was pictured,
and gone. forever

*this was written on 1910 GMT+2, 21/10/09
*on the tram at Alexandria, Egypt

Saturday, November 21, 2009

menyedari hakikat wanita lebih ramai, maka lelaki kurang setia


tika mananya kita melihat kembali akan sekeliling kita, lihat sajalah ke mana-mana.
nescaya yang memakai tudung, yang free hair, yang cantik, yang seksi itu lebih ramai.
tiada lagi tatapan di mana banyaknya jantan gantang memenuhi ruangan kaki lima suasana.

keluh, penulisan seperti ini tiada gaya.

permulaan semula.

sigh, its like everyday we talked about gurls. its a common topic to speak about them gurls.
and here is some findings that i got from some conversation.

TepT: hey, u gurls saving duit x?
Gurl: saving? ahahaha.. nk wat per?
TepT: i dunnoe, kawin perhaps?
Gurl: please lar.. kitorg shopping jer la..!! baru syok..!!
TepT: owhh..

and on another conversation,

Tept: dude, apsal ko saving sangat nih?
Dude: haii, nk kawin punyer pasal, simpanla duit.
TepT: owh, then duit nih pakai nk wat per?
Dude: dunnoe la, utk bini ak pakai nnt kot. mmbahagiakan isteri la katakan..
TepT: hahaha..
Dude: hahahaha..

i wud give a huge LOL to this matter.
pergghh.. kaum Adam nih its like we are too good to be true.
while we crank our expenditure for thinking about our future, that
probly and meticulously where we would be married, and by that i mean is having a wife,
and this so called wife needs to be fed and make happy, with that we need money,
urrgghh.. wait, theres to much coma, i lost my point.

my point is, please la guys. u all are getting skinny n skinnier evry week from saving.
while those gurls are out there having their fun.
suppose that we shud hav more fun than them la.
get ur expenditure going with all the wishes that u ever dreamed of,
stop thinking bout saving cuz u wanna be married to someone. it sounds ridiculous.
for me maybe. sigh.

fund more of your expenditure on nice clothing, extraordinary books, exotic foods,
and more of the stuff we wouldnt get back there at malaysia.
owh wait. speaking about spending, Abe just bought himself a new VESPA.
yeahh, now thats an expenditure.

while talking bout them gurls made me think,
there are pretty much, so much gurls out there.
most of them are nice, so us guys here shudnt hav any bit of problem to find
the righteous one to be our wedded wife.

as for so, would any issue like 'guys wont be loyal as much' probly rise.
owh yeah, i totally agree that this kind of matter would happen.
yes, its undeniable that we have the so called "4 column" to be filled (could be filled),
and so we could be flirting around by never thinking that the world will come to an end. Lol

but this loyalty thingy, its not a matter that loyalty depends on the doer himself,
but with both cooperating in building trust and loyalty towards each other.
women should show loyalty too, of course. saying that loyalty of a man is on the edge
of extinction is completely false.
because loyalty is a 2 way subject, not by the guy or the girl themselves.

so girls, trust ur man.

trust him.

loyalty is on both of us.

seriously, that dude is saving just for that you could go for more shopping.

why not trust him?

he would be loyal.

and yes, if and only if he is a man.

by talking about loyalty,
i hope that my girl, wud love someone else more than me.

and that someone else, would be Rasulullah (peace be upon him).

nyata bahawa wanita itu lebih ramai, tapi, adakah wujudnya wanita yang mencintai Rasulullah SAW lebih dari suaminya sendiri?
(sepertimana zaman para sahabat dahulu?)

nyata, persoalan itu kembali kepada wanita.

sigh, how i wish that i could find one like this.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

lame on a plane


Of Our Little Stories that Rhyme

Its a little awkward here,
Seeing your face so bright,
Calling out my name so loud.

I could have been speechless,
With not a word to say,
By your prettiness undisplayed.

Cant stop looking in your eye,
So let me just say that I,
Had fallen in love with you.

Of our little stories that rhyme,
talking about our past time,
where it was first I see your smile.

With the distance we have,
we cant just meet again,
as before at the same place.

Let me just promise to you,
that i would cross the ocean,
to hear your lips say I do.

But that is out of boundary,
out of my willingly,
so pray, that God give me,

the future as be it we,
and just live on happily,
under the roof built by you and me.

*this was written on 0818 GMT +8, 13/10/09.
*i was on the plane to Cairo.
*So, generous readers, what do you have to criticize on this?

Monday, November 16, 2009

down the hill


Down the Hill

walking down the hill,
after working all day with the tips of my pen,
hearing your footsteps,
the steps that i adore really resembles,
loudly your voice called,
startles me up with a chill down my spine.

looking at your eyes,
seeing you beg for something u cant afford to,
but your voices pleases,
words that soothes plead for forgiveness,
with your smile that shines,
happiness indeed spreads through the air, hell yeah.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

desire, for the love of God


its a question that starts from the scratch. the scratch in which it wouldnt even exist if He is not here. He is the reason off all being. the reason of the wide horizon world and the anormously wide open sky that we cudnt even reach it by any means. while, He, as God, as our God, give us the opportunity to see His creation and be astonished by them all.
by the astonished feel we say Subhanallah.

i started asking questions to God, do u exist?
the He showed me as u came back from the mosque, i can see a car, a red car, who parked the car here? i then asked myself. i dunt know, nobody told me. perhaps just some average egyptian? but then, i rememberd, who parked our earth, our mother earth at the solar system?
ahhh.. that MUST be God. He told us before. yes He did. in surah Yasiin. He placed the mother earth, the moon, and the sun in its orbit.
He had already told us that He is the one who placed them. then why still we are not confirmed about that?

God, U r the all loving. in fact, u even created love. love between one person to another, as it can be easily seen, the love which dwells from kindness, sacrifice, and all that, but we miss use it perhaps?
i mean, U, as God, gave us the mean of being loved, we are loved by our father, mother, sister, brother, our friends, and also we love a girl/guy that we are attracted to.
U create them, and so U give them love, and U give them the feel of loving me. and so i am loved.
As for that O Allah, how can i get this love? the LOVE as how others see it. its Love that im asking for,
as somehow possibly and how is it wonderful that maybe, im in Love with someone, and somehow i want her to Love me as well.
sigh, can i just ask for the simple life in which i would be married to anyone here. and somehow in short time we develop ourself some real nice chemistry together, we make kids, we grew old, then we be dead, the we'll be seing U, and our kids too.
but then, is it possible for me to do that? can i just gamble and ramble on marriage?
maybe i cant, cuz possibly somehow that currently im attracted to this girl, right here.
maybe its somehow that how it would sound possible that im attracted to this girl.
yeah i told U twice. but then, what if, somehow, the way to gey to her is to have DATE with her,
to always CALL her just to hear that she's fine, to TEXT and say 'how are u?'..
despite the fact that we are not link by any mean or any approved bond.
i even asked advice from one of my friend and this person whether she said that i should do that shit such as calling, dating, texting etc.
God, i dont want that, u see, if and only if i love her, then right now, i would stay away from her.
i dunt want any of our action to be sinned. as somehow maybe, that there would be time where our love could be somehow built by lust. lust that is whisperd to us as if we forgot, somehow, that U created us and give us the Love.
if and only if i love her, i'd stay away. with least calling, texting, and all that stuff.

God, give me the time. give us the time to be patient to ourself, for we wont be driven by lust to do the thing we desire.
we dont want to be sinned, i dunt want it myself, and i dunt want it for her. how can i asked U, for she stays. stays in which i mean that she could stay single perhaps. in just some more few years perhaps? so as for by that time, possibly and wonderfully that we would be ready for ourself to get married together? Sigh, am i asking too much?
it cant be, cuz its the way that it should be right? i mean, where does all this dating come from,
its not from anything that U thought us, from U, U gave us a prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him).
as so, he thought us about love, sacrifice, life, and everything from the single most tiniest thing to the most enormous thing in our life.
and in his (peace be upon him) teaching, there is nothing and completely none of them that say,
"owh, its okay too date. its okay to watch movies together, well, its just for a couple of hours.
owh, its okay for u to walk together peacefully, holding hands all thinking that all would be fine,"
as for as for that time, your Angel 'Atid is really doing his work writing all ur sins.
NO, there has never been a teaching like that. i dunt want to touch her or anything. that is what i called from earlier, in which somehow our love could be driven by lust.

i want her to be nice, she would be like all the sort in which she is perfect.
if impatient builts inside her or me, and in which any means possibly that it cud happen,
and maybe the feel that im having right now WOULD somehow be possibly gone, the i wud return to U, O Allah, as u r d one who planned my life. U had planned it very well, i got great parents, great brothers and sisters, i made friends in which
some of them are awesome and some of them are just pretend to be, u even gave me this very tiny little itsy bitsy extra AV node in my heart,
in which this very tiny little itsy bitsy AV node cuz make my heart pumps almost 4 times greater than a normal heart.
but with this AV node too, O Allah, that i remembered U back. i stopped on taking drugs and stopped on caffeine.
which in turns maybe, possibly would kept me healthier longer. And so, getting back to my point,
in which, i might lose her, is none of that matters to me, cuz U created her, U made me had a crush on her, U made me able to buy somewhat a fluffy stuff
back there at Australia, and so much more that U had done to me.
If and only if this feel is gone, I would return to You. cuz possibly, that U had a greater plan for me, maybe not with her, and perhaps with somebody else. cuz in the end of the day, i realized that I only need YOUR LOVE. I only need your Love, O Allah.

Owh My God, U r my God. O Allah,
thank you for everything that u had given to me. Alhamdulillah. All praise Allah, as He is the Almighty and the All powerful.
The ever live, the start, and the end. He is our God, He is our creator. Praise Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

that would be nice


i havnt wrote any simple post for such a long time already.
n i promise i'll make this quick and simple.

currently im trying to make ice cream. theres a vanilla ice cream in my freezer waiting for it to freeze. it wud be nice if the ice cream is ready now.

peti ais krim Wall's

ahh.. wud it be nice if we had one of this peti ais krim here at egypt.. so many choices, but yet, we wudnt make any mistakes in choosing them. cuz they r all awesome..!!


Monday, November 9, 2009

juggling between jealousy and fear, with hate along the way


as usual, my post uses certain code that makes it only readable by only few of the readers that really knew me. i dont need to privatize my blog but i use language that requires a deciphering act of people with IQ higher that 140. (i'm a 120)

i found jealousy for a long time already. jealousy had been a mystery to me. but after a few years of tracking down the jealousy that builds inside me, im starting to knew jealousy better.
however, with jealousy attached to lust, its far too difficult to gain jealousy without lust along the way. without lust, i'll be naive. but hope there is for jealousy and my temptation and this fact is supported by our anxiety. yes, its hope. for jealousy. as my distance from jealousy makes heart grew fonder.

as fonder as how it would be, fear came to this alone temptation. why is it that fear has to come from all the darkness that i felt before, as it lights the dark as if righteous is here. the fear that comes and softly it crouches towards this temptation. while fear makes self does tons of mistakes for the spontaneous movement that had been done. why is it even wrong to make action while in fear? then the soul now really needs to cool down as fear has made a lot of problem towards temptation. or is temptation made the mistakes? why is it even called mistakes and mishaps at the first place?

while juggling jealousy and fear is like juggling swords with fire, a hell kind of measures need to be well prepared as in any moment, any which, could fell while it juggles up high in the air. the higher we juggle, the heavier the consequences would be if we mishandle them. and the result would be, a heart that is tore apart and blood that turns like oil burning the whole body as it splatters and ooze from the veins. an explosion. this is the part where temptation says shit!.

but its not the case yet, the game became more exciting when hate comes. hate, as a single adjective like jealousy and fear, would somehow pushes any of the swords that had been juggled. as jealousy and fear already cause enough, and yet hatred comes along the way. its either temptation that held in has to reject jealousy that lives, or fear would develop to a fire that burns.

jealousy, fear, hate. to get fear, we should develop hatred. to be jealous, it doesn't need neither hate nor fear. it only requires anxiety that develops a little bit everyday.

in the end, all of us would be confused with the adjectives that we wish that it wouldn't even exist. but hey, they spice up our temptation.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

its that time of the season


there had been a recent seasonal change.

it might be the stars that doesn't shine on Cancer if u believe in stars.
it may also be the clouds that shadows my path and i cant look to make a decision.
probably its the eyes where it gets too blurry and everything seems unclear.
where there is autoimmune and it eats up the brain and frankly i cant remember a thing.
its the time at which i walk with cat's paw and i just walk like a ghost through the hallway.
anything that i do seems to be wrong, and anything i did left unspoken.
nothing in any title that you're writing would be read and it would be left as remains.
there would be faeces from the anus and it feels like it came back like you're a rodent.
its the time where most of us fell into a sand trap and you're the only one that cant escape.
you are running as far as you can but u still cant reach the clouds that are above of your sky.
you tried to drink from some kind of crystal glass and it slipped off, turning into dust and water.
you called someone you loved but the operator is the only person who would loved to answer it.
its the time at which anything you touches burns, and everything you look at disappear.

what time is it now?

its that time of the season.


i would wait, patiently,

as my star wud shine as the brightest of all to the last galaxy that can be seen by our eyes.
the sun would glistens and heavenly the eye would give me the most righteous guidance.
where eyes are sharp as an eagle and be so wise to make decision like a falcon.
the neuron would travel as twice as fast and the world would slow down as u desire.
its the time where every footsteps count and people stood silently as they feel your aura.
anything you do is right, and everything you spoke off would be taken action.
the writing will be highly appreciated and it wud be some kind of a legend masterpiece.
there would be flowers that grew from the fertilizers that colours the sky beautifully.
its the time you're on a stepping stone and walk u will be further to the other horizon.
you ran as far as you can and you feel that the grass is greener, and the sky is clearer.
with your poise that pleases, everyone is looking at you while you take a sip of the champagne.
you didn't talk to your love one, as left you both unspoken with your lover on the phone all night.
everything you look at shines, and everything you touches grew beautiful and sheen.


Thursday, November 5, 2009


imbecile /"ImbIsi;l/
· n. informal a stupid person.
· adj. stupid.
– DERIVATIVES imbecilic adj. imbecility n. (pl. imbecilities).
– ORIGIN C16 (as adj. in the sense ‘physically weak’):
via Fr. from L. imbecillus, lit. ‘without a supporting staff’.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

hatred and heart of my colleagues


"bapak lame dow lecture harinih. ngantok kedowk."

"isyy, lame nyer lecturer nih ckp.. dh la tuh. org nak balik dh nih."
(padahal masa ad lg 20 minit)

"weyh, ko nak tanye soalan ker (sedang ak angkat tangan). x yah r dowh..jgn r,, bia abis awal."

"buku mahal dowh, fotostat jer.. ape punyer arab bla3.. (click here to read more).."

i can only say 1 thing to people like this:
highlight to see the word bellow

perlu mengeluh ketika mnuntut ilmu kah?


marilah kita sama2 mendoakan kesejahteraan Farahin.
ak sgt faham kesusahan yg dihadapi pesakit jantung.
kenape yea? cuz ak pn ad abnormaliti pada jantung aku.