what defies you, defies me, and thus defines us.

Assalamualaikum..

I was startled by a friend who asked some questions of love and relationship. however, it is not the first time for me to discuss this. i had discussed with several of my friends before and even posted it on my blog.

her question was simple. "can a man be so attached to a woman?" and the answer is yes. a man can be so attached to a woman. and why? with a simple answer of love and relationships which works naturally without any needs of elaborating more of it.

but then, a twist happens as "how can a man forget a girl that for once there he was so fallen in love with her?" as in, not being truthful and starts leaving her behind. I say, girl, for a relationship to become succesful, there must be a reason for them to be together. yes, a reason. falling in love, we dont need reason for that. however, for staying in love, there must be a reason.

for a man woman relationship, the reason could be that we want to be for each other till death do us apart, to live together in harmony and grief, and much else. same goes to how we are to our Creator, Allah az-zawajalla. as we are so much attached to Him and for so much reasons that cant be listed, we are bounded by His love and He just waits for us to love Him back.

in fact, we may cant remember how can we fell in love for the first time. but as times flows and more we obtain from our love ones, be built reasons to live together, and that is something more than love, that could be given to ye lovers. and thus comes marriage, which takes more than love to defines it.

having said that, to answer the previous question, a man could forget a girl by:

1. he has no reasons to be with her. and

2. something moves her aside. and by something, it could be other girl mostly, occupation, and other dedication.

for number one, in which we have no reasons, it just simply apply the negative way of what i had spoken before, a reason with no reason. simple. maybe he had loss interest with the lady? he thinks that he is better off with the lady? anything. with no reason to be together and some reason to be apart, and so couples forget each other.

for number two, as in he found a better woman perhaps, works on a simple concept. it depends in the early reasons on why he had fallen for the former lover. as in, if the former has beauty, then if he finds another beauty (which probably be more beautiful) and so he walks away. if it is because of wealth, then wealthier wins. brain with brain, kindness with kindness.

if earlier we fell for beauty, it would be hard for a man to fell with brains. men are simple. ladies, if you are pretty, the thing that can stole you away is another beautiful girl. if it is for your kindness, then kindness it is that would steal your man away. it would always be the same thing. men can never change so sudden. men are simple. plus, if the girl is beauty and brain, then only prettier and smarter can win him. more beauty less brain, errmm.. considered a no.

yeah, talk about the survival of the fittest. national geographic had done this before under the article "survival of the prettiest". you can check that out anywhere on the internet.

this discussion is yet to end. as there is one more question. "how about if the guy is a player?". pfft.. the answer is, even the playa talks about a bunch of girls with his colleagues and friends, but still, at the end of the day, as he is closing his eye to go to sleep, there would only be ONE girl, in his mind that he would be thinking of.

even if, you found out that your boyfriend is a playa, dont break him yet. figure if you are the one who's been on his mind all the time while he is with other girls. and how? easy. find reasons for you to stay together. ask him. how? heck would i know. playa is versatile in his own way. figure him out first.

so that is about it for the theoretical part. the else is up to you.

and one more thing, please dont be defy by words. be strong to them. especially from those who use words for their work of art. some are truthful, others are defying.