*read the previous post- juggling between jealousy and fear for better understanding of this post
even though hatred is out of the case, but still my jealousy and fear keeps me vigilant.
it has been the time at which fear had drawn back temptation to be opposed, suppresed, eeried, and thrusted. how irony, as any feel of fear by temptation that is about to action, was just a predicament to make the task felt completed. rather than having an affection as expected, it turns out to be like a total waste of an imbecile art. having fear in the mind was like abusing drug to shut down the enourmous pain that was brought by itself. but hey, sometimes the poison is the cure. should we get more just to know that would we be suffering more?
"sometimes the poison is the cure"
Jealousy had been a silence. i dont feel a glimpse of jealousy since how fear had somehow interfere with the temptation im having. but always is, fear draws back to me everytime i tried to trace back the path that i took. awkwardly my fear drives jealousy away. when i tried to feel jealous just to wedge the gap of temptation and fear, i find it rather difficult. but as how awkward as it is, its like temptation is bounded by fear. fear of many colours. strong colours i persume, that makes it beautiful. beautiful in the sense i might fear of it forever.
but fear not, as anyhow time is still the best that i hope for.
funny it has been as my temptation had tried to flip a coin just to know either it would be following jealousy or fear. how cloddish it is that in the equal probability of head and tail, it stands right in the middle. then how should it be decided? a fair competition, with no bias, equal chance, and with any manner would be accepted. sounds fair? lets see who would be the winner. neither being head nor tail, would give them any means of being comfortable.
as for now, let temptation cool off a while. it has been time since anxiety, happiness and triumph met the boiling temptation. how about that flipped coin? would it be standing forever? sure not. just let the windage decide.